Provocative "life" questions

I saw these questions on another blog and thought they would act as fodder for an article. They are questions that we typically ask ourselves when we reach a certain age.

Questions people are asking by the decade:

• 20's Who am I? How am I different from my family? What will I do? Am I capable of love? Is there anyone who would love me?
• 30's How do I cope with the demands of life and all these people who want a piece of me? What can't I follow through? How come I feel like I can never please anyone? What happened to my friends?
• 40's What happened to me as a child? Why are others doing better than me? Why am I so disappointed in myself? Isn't it supposed to be better than this dull-drum life? Why these uncertainties?
• 50's Why is time moving so fast? Why is my body unreliable? How do I deal with failures/successes? Why is my marriage not great? Are the best years of my life over?
• 60's When do I stop doing the things that define me? Am I ready for old age? Why do I feel separated from the world? Do I have a spiritual legacy?
• 70's Does anyone know who I once was? How much of life do I still control? Why this irritability? How long will people miss me?

Since I'm now "into" my 50s, I'm going to skip the 60s and 70s and concentrate on the earlier decades....starting with the 20s. Truthfully, I was pretty ambitious and looking for "greener" grass during my early 20s. I graduated from the University of Montana at 20 and took my first job. It lasted 6 months. My second lasted two years, my third was three years and at age 26, I found myself newly married, with a new job in a new state and with a new home mortgage. I'm not really sure I had time left to ask myself any questions. I had a lot of energy and wanted to get my life established, begin a family and plant the seeds for a happy existence. One of the things I learned in my 20s is that are two ways of making money...one is to start with a lot of money and two is start with a lot of time. Since I didn't have a lot of money, I began saving. I'm proud to say I've never spent the savings from my 20s and have added to it since. While I'm not rich, I have built some cushion that will help us as we look at retirement. 

I continued to be ambitious in my 30s as well. Here is when I became deeply involved both with my company and with Toastmasters. I saw many opportunities open up to me with both and the synergies were pretty obvious. I was an executive speech writer, whose speeches were being heard in the largest financial markets throughout the United States. Also, I was traveling all over the United States and missing out on what seemed like my children's childhoods. Belinda was often home to raise the children. Some people adore that lifestyle. I didn't and found my career at odds with my values...especially when it ran counter to my children and their needs. So looking at these questions, I'm sure these, in fact, were the questions I was asking. And sometimes I wasn't enjoying the answers. 

In my 40s, I certainly faced a number of uncertainties, especially when I went through a career change at age 41. However, having already proven myself in my 20s and 30s, I had adopted the philosophy of one of Liz Taylor's many husbands who said, "I've been rich and I've been broke, but I've never been poor." As the decade progressed, I poured a lot more time into my family along with my career and decided that I liked the "new" me. 

Now, I've only been in my 50s officially for one year, but I agree that the years go by extremely fast. One son is out of college and beginning his own career and the second son has only two years left...unless he goes to graduate school. So I find myself pondering more and more of life with Belinda...without the children. At least, the children won't be as close as they have been. Grandpa has been an extension of our family for the last four years, but let's face it, he's not going to live forever either. And there's the questions about your human body. No, it doesn't perform like it once did. I had shoulder surgery in my 40s so I'm sure the Yankees won't be coming to sign me as a pitcher in my 50s. Also, my metabolism has slowed if not completely stopped. I'm going to be one who fights a constant battle with his weight. This is troubling when you watch your sons eat and eat, but you know your days of gluttony have ended and not for the better. To win the weight war means to eat less and exercise more. This is hard in North Dakota, especially in the winter when we seemingly have daylight from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Food becomes a major portion of what we do for entertainment. 

As for marriage, I couldn't be happier. I met and married my soulmate for life. However, I certainly feel for those who are struggling with their marriages. Life is simply too short and at 50 we know it.

So as I look back at the past 30 years, I'm generally happy with what has transpired. I'm not the eager beaver I was at 25, but I'm the wiser, more practical father and husband whom I'm proud to be. 

Summer activities

Growing up in Roundup, Montana, I saw a few Fourth of July rodeos. Living now in Mandan, North Dakota, I've never been to one....even though Mandan is the rodeo mecca of the state. In Roundup, I went to the rodeos because I knew a lot of the cowboys. Some were even my classmates. However, rodeos were never my cup of tea. I tend to think of them as being hot, dusty and taking up lots of time between events.

If I had my druthers, I would prefer being in a baseball park -- preferably Yankee Stadium -- on the Fourth of July. But I live in North Dakota, not the Bronx, so I'm left watching the men in pinstripes on my TV set. That isn't all bad, because the numerous TV cameras covering a major league baseball game truly give you a better view of the players and the action than watching the game in person. However, there's something about being there. Perhaps that why I still like to go see movies. There's something intrinscally interesting about watching a movie with people you don't know. Sometimes I'm the only person laughing out loud when something obviously hilarious happens to the actors. Did the other people fall asleep or perhaps they are not as clever at picking out the funny parts of the movie?

So I don't go to rodeos, nor baseball games...and actually don't see many movies. So what does occupy my time in the summer?

Probably number one is my garden. I love to grow a garden. Every morning, every evening and sometimes oftener, I go stand beside my garden and see what's growing now. My potatoes and peas are in bloom. I'll be eating peas in a week as some already have pods hanging down. The potatoes won't be harvested until the end of September when they've developed a good thick skin on them. We've eaten a lot of onions and lettuce already. I plant two kinds of lettuce -- leaf lettuce and romaine. Belinda likes to make a salad with both kinds of  lettuce, onions, dill and cream. It's a favorite around the house.

My beefsteak tomato plants, peppers and cucumbers also have budded and now are bearing fruits and vegetables. My winter squash plants are also looking nice but I haven't seen any blooms yet. Carrots and beets are also getting bigger but they need another week or two before I start to pick them. The sooner you pick these two, the sweeter they are...so I won't wait too long before tasting them. However, I'll let some grow though middle of September so we have some for the winter months.

Besides my garden, there is golf. I seem to be playing more golf this year. We always play a lot of golf at Mandan Muni where Scott has a yearly pass. But we've also played several times at Pebble Creek and Tom O'Leary. I'd like to play at Riverwood this summer. That's a beautiful course surround by stately cottonwoods. Tom O'Leary is fun because you are in the middle of town and ever hole seems to have another scenic view of Bismarck - such as the capitol or Bismarck State College.

I'll also play at Apple Creek east of Bismarck at the end of July in the Lignite Energy Council's CoalPac tournament. That event gets special attention because I'll be playing with two of my brothers-in-law along with Scott. We've been doing this event for seven or eight years and it's always a blast. When the golfing is done, we are treated to a big steak and baked potato out on the veranda of the country club. The view is of the verdant Apple Creek Valley covered with trees, bushes, fairways and greens.

There are also family reunions. This weekend, for instance, will be the Frohlich family reunion. When I first started going to these, there were a lot more of the great-grandmas and great-grandpas who showed up. Now, they've died and there are more of the great-grandchildren who show up. It's always interesting to see the new ones and visit with the old ones. Some of these are Belinda's uncles and aunts who we have breakfast with on Saturdays.

Then there is the Mandan Fourth of July parade. In Roundup, we were happy if the parade lasted a half hour...often it was a lot shorter than that. But in Mandan, the parade can last up to two hours or longer. So it's good to have plenty of sunscreen and a cooler with some liquids. A bag with some sunflower seeds and a comfortable chair are also nice. You'll never see more old tractors or horses or politicians that in the Mandan parade. The float from our church and the Mandan marching band in black and white uniforms are also highlights.

Luckily, we live about two blocks from the parade route so it's easy to get to and from Main Street. There's a lot of road construction in Mandan this year so it will be more difficult for people living out of town to see the parade.

Another favorite summer time activity is taking in the "Concerts in the Park." On Mondays through Thursdays, there is live music in Dykshoorn Park from 7:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. The Monday night concerts in June are the best because of the patriotic music played by the West River Winds, a big band with a huge sound. John Philip Sousa marches are standard fare and they always close with "Stars and Stripes Forever."

I've probably left out some other activities. But this is pretty standard stuff that I look forward to. The weather is warm in North Dakota during June, July and August so it's a great time to be outdoors. Oh, and I like homemade peach pies in the summer, too.