"It is what it is..."

On March 16, I left my hospital room, my wife and dad for a little exploratory surgery known as an angiogram. As I was being wheeled downstairs to see if I had blockage or a heart attack, the only words I could think of was "it is what it is...and we'll make the most of it."

You can't believe my joy to hear the cardiologist say that I had no blockage and had not had a heart attack. This gives me a better chance for a recovery as none of my heart had died from lack of oxygen. What I did have was cardiomyopathy, which is a diseased heart muscle. In my case, the cardiologist said it could have been caused by a virus. My heart was weak, scarred, enlarged and beating irregularly.

Still, I was uplifted by the number of heart medicines and the people I know who have made miraculous recoveries from heart failure.

My saga begins probably back in January after we returned from Hawaii. I don't remember being short of breath when we walked the breadth of Waikiki, but I do remember being short of breath when I saw my pulmonologist in Bismarck. He oversees my CPAP machine, which reduces my apneas when I sleep. I think that appointment was January 18 and at the time, I chalked up my shortness of breath to walking up a hill in the cold January air.

My next excursion to a doctor came at the end of February when I thought I had bronchitis, which is something I have a proclivity for. My doctor prescribed a steroid and an antibiotic, much like he had in the past. But something was amiss as I went in a week later to find my ankles and feet had swollen. This time he added a week to the antibiotics since my lungs were still filled with gunk and changed my water pill to something stronger.

Still, I felt my condition worsening and a week later went in again. This time, however, the doctor found that my heart rate was more than twice as fast as normal. Thus I earned a trip to the hospital.

There I  had x-rays, an EKG and an echocardiogram along with the angiogram to determine what was going on with my heart. Three days after entering the hospital, I was more or less being tested to my tolerance and how well the different heart medicines would perform. To do this, I had to wear a heart monitor and have my blood checked every so often.

Now I really can't say enough good things about the nurses and doctors working on my case. They did their best to make me feel at home, but a small hospital room is not my home and you don't enjoy many freedoms when tied by a four-feet length of plastic tubing to an I.V. pole.

So when my release came on March 21, I was more than ready to go home. The last thing to be removed was the I.V. from my left arm. I had been stuck like a pin cushion as my veins wanted to "roll" or "collapse" about as soon as a needle came in contact with them.

Now I'm recuperating at home and learning all about my new low sodium, water restricted, low calorie diet. It will probably be a couple of weeks until I return to work. However, when I do, I hope my body is in harmony and my heart is beating properly.

A lot changed in the last week. I look at it as having "crossed the Rubicon."

I just thank my lucky stars that I have a supportive family, co-workers, friends and a great staff of medical experts who work very hard on my behalf.

Thank you to all who whispered a prayer. It wasn't the least you could do, it was the most. And I'm very grateful.