Oh the way Glenn Miller played....

Do you remember the theme song to the TV comedy "All in the family?" Edith and Archie sat at a piano while she played some chords and their voices rang out with..."Oh, the way Glenn Miller played. Songs that made the Hit Parade. Geez, our old LaSalle ran great. Those were the days."

Well, I thought for something different, I would return to Belinda's diaries and see what the Van Dyke family was up to 25, 20, 15, 10 and five years ago...since those were the "Good Old Days." I've never been one to be superstitious, so the 13th is always just another day. The daily entries in Belinda's diaries are like a snapshot of our family life at different periods. For instance, 25 years ago, our boys weren't born. Twenty years ago, Derek was a toddler and Scott was a baby. 15 years ago, they were both in grade school. 10 years ago Scott was in 6th grade and Derek was in 8th grade. Five years ago, Scott was a high school junior and Derek was a freshmen in college. Also, another point of reference is that dad moved in with us in July of 2006.

These are taken straight from the diaries so I'll put any notes from me in parenthesis. Also, it appears that through the years, Belinda washed clothes on the 13th. When I got home today, she told me that she had washed two loads of clothes, washed windows and cleaned the bathroom.

March 13, 1987 (This is before kids as Derek was born in 1988 and Scott in 1990) - Friday the 13th. "After supper, we went to Grandma Frohlich's to play cards. Steve won most of the money. We got home about 10 p.m. and watched TV. Steve played guitar for a while. I washed three loads of clothes."

March 13, 1992 - Friday the 13th. "Steve worked until 6 p.m. We had lasagna for supper. Darcy (Belinda's youngest sister who was attending the University of Mary) was here for supper. Steve's mom called and said Willis had a lump removed from his neck and is doing fine. Scott went to bed at 8 p.m. After supper, Herbie and Darlene (Belinda's aunt and uncle) came to visit until about 9:30 p.m. Derek went to bed at 10 p.m. Then Darcy and I went to buy groceries for $81. Darcy left at 11:45 p.m."

March 13, 1997 - Thursday - "A windy and snowy day. High was 15 degrees with a minus 30 windchill in the afternoon. We woke up to about four inches of fluffy snow. It snowed a few more inches in the morning so I had to snowblow before I could drive up the driveway after working at the church in the morning. Steve ate lunch with Floyd and Sharron Waddingham. After lunch Allison (a little girl Belinda babysat) napped from 2 p.m. to 3:15 p.m. I washed four loads of clothes. Steve blew the driveway when he got home from work. We had fish sticks and Rice-a-Roni for supper. After supper we played cards. The boys went to bed about 9 p.m. Steve and I proofread The Resource (the employee magazine at MDU). He also practiced his speech for the MDU Management Conference."

March 13, 2002 - Wednesday - "Steve made breakfast before he went to work. I took the kids to school. Steve and Scott were home for lunch. After lunch, I made spaghetti sauce for supper at church. I picked the kids up from school and we went to Wonderful Wednesday (an after school program at our church). We had three different kinds of spaghetti sauces and homemade Italian bread and gilletto with our spaghetti. Steve and the boys attended the youth group. I went to a freshmen registration meeting. When we got home, I studied with Derek for his history test. We went to bed at 10:30 p.m."

March 13, 2007 - Tuesday - "High 52. Steve and I walked this morning. Scott went to school at 7 a.m. Steve went to work at 7:30. I made sausage omelettes for breakfast. Julie, Jessica (Julie is Belinda's younger sister and Jessica is her oldest daughter) and I went shopping until 11:30. Derek was home and so was Willis. They met us at Paradiso for lunch. I did some work on the church bulletin and washed three loads of clothes in the afternoon. Willis napped. After Scott got home from school, we went to see an oral surgeon. It will cost $1,475 to have his wisdom teeth cut out. We will have pay about half as we have dental insurance. We had leftover roast, potatoes and carrots for supper. Steve went to Men's Club at the church. Steve, Willis and I played two games of Scrabble. Willis went to bed at 9 p.m. Steve at 10 p.m. and Scott and I at 11 p.m."

Taking “old men” pills

My dental hygienist is a sweet lady, mother of two, about my age. When I told her about my prescriptions due to my heart failure (yes, that’s what it’s called), she said, “You are taking old men pills.”

Little did she know how prophetic her words would be.

Just before Christmas, I made the mistake of swallowing my dad’s handful of pills instead of my own about dinner time.

Derek was home from Minot; Scott was working; and Belinda was ringing the bell at the Salvation Army in in south Bismarck.

I thought, no big deal, I’ll just gag myself and the pills will be gone.

Not so fast…the pills didn’t want to come up.

By this time, Derek is on the computer and the phone talking to the poison center.

Suddenly, I remembered something I learned in my childhood. I think it was my Grandma Van Dyke who told me that if you drink the raw white of the egg – called the albumen – it will make you throw up. So I separated an egg and drank the albumen. NOTHING.

So, thinking I might have gotten this wrong, I swallowed the raw egg yolk. Still nothing.

I then cracked another egg and swallowed that raw. Still nothing.

By this time, Derek had become frantic and decided the next course of action was to take me to the emergency room in Bismarck. We loaded up Grandpa and a way we went. On the way over, he was calling Scott and mom to tell them where we were going. Belinda’s shift was about over so she was to meet me at the ER.

Derek dropped me off at the hospital and then he and Grandpa went back to Mandan.

I walked into the ER only to find a sign that said, “Identification and insurance card required.”

I had neither with me. All I had was a handful of my dad’s pills in my stomach.

Luckily, the receptionist and my wife share the same Aunt Darlene. So she recognized me and allowed me to pass through the two iron doors that lead to the ER.

A nurse began quizzing me about the pills that I had swallowed and I told her that a few of them are actually the same pills that I take. But a couple of them are for Alzheimer’s, and I don’t have a prescription for them.

By this time, Belinda arrived and we were listening to a man behind a curtain curse on his cellphone. We’re not sure why he was in the ER, but he had a terrible mouth. As soon as he finished one call, he called someone else and started his tirade of curse words again.

In a few minutes the doctor arrived and he asked me to repeat the same information I had already given the nurse. The doctor was an older gentleman…say about 65. Anyway, he laughed when he heard what I had done and told me I would be fine and the Alzheimer’s pills would probably “remind me not to pee my pants.”

With that, he released me with the instructions not to take my dad’s pills anymore and not to double up on the pills that I had already taken.

The next morning, I awoke feeling no worse for having taken the wrong pills. And all would have been forgotten…except that I took the “memory” medicine and so haven’t forgotten this silly episode of my life. 

A teachable moment

Sure, the children aren't kids anymore, but once a father, always a father.

So, we were bowling one afternoon and I said something about the privilege of owning my own bowling shoes. "I don't like sharing bowling shoes with everyone else in town, so I'm glad I own my own."

Yes, I'm a bit of a "germaphobe," as are my two sons. So I wasn't surprised when the youngest one snuck off to the Pro Shop and came back the proud owner of a new pair of bowling shoes. Not only are they new, but they also don't look like the circus shoes that bowling alleys have. Whoops, I used the ancient term for "Family Fun Centers", but that's another blog.

Anyway, Scott bought the shoes as we were leaving so he didn't have a chance to actually use them.

The next day Scott was working, shopping, visiting or something. Anyway, he wasn't around when Derek and I decided to go to Mandan's other bowling alley.

I told Derek he might as well use Scott's new bowling shoes. That way he wouldn't need to put his feet into shoes that have been worn by everyone else in town.

That must have sounded good to Derek, so off we went.

When we got to the bowling alley, we noticed that Scott's shoes still had the price tag on them, and it was snapped on with plastic to the shoe laces. No problem, Derek simply snipped the plastic in two and found that the shoes fit him to a "T."

After a couple of games, Derek tied the shoes back together and placed the price tag back in the laces of the shoes, without the plastic cord.

As we drove home, much to our chagrin, we noticed that mom and Scott were both home.

Never mind, we'll just nonchalantly enter the house, put our bowling balls away and Derek will discreetly take the shoes from his bag and slip them into Scott's. No one will be the wiser.

Well, the plan worked perfectly except that Derek and I couldn't keep a straight face to save our lives. Belinda was asking us what was going on, just as Scott got off the couch and went into the room with the bowling balls to inspect his. There he found his shoes and, he said, "My shoes are still hot. Who's been wearing them?"

Derek admitted that he had worn them, but since they fit him, he would buy Scott a new pair and keep the pair he had worn.

So they left and went back to the family fun center, but there were no more bowling shoes of that size to be purchased.

So, Scott and Derek came back home.

This is where I thought I would provide the teachable moment. You know that thing that your mother teaches you when you are about two: "If it doesn't belong to you, don't touch it."

However, right when I got to the part where I asked Derek, "Did you learn anything today?"

His reply was: "Yeah, don't listen to dad!"

Remembering our loved ones

“Remember, spend time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all, mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.” – George Carlin

There is something about a friendly reminder. A person sharing a reminder is not calling us stupid, but simply reminding us about something that we know, but might have forgotten.

George Carlin was one of my favorite comedians when I was growing up. He looked like an old hippie, but his observations about life showed a great insight into the character of humans. I think he would have been a great guy to hang out with at college, although I’m not sure I would have wanted to share a dorm room with him.

One of my cousins posted this little reminder from the late comedian recently and it got me to thinking about people from my past. As a Christian, I hope to be re-united with these people someday in heaven. But for right now, people like my mom and my grandmas are part of the nostalgia that we cling to as we grow older.

Both of my grandmas were all about family. My Grandma Anderson had two bachelor uncles that lived across the avenue from the home where I grew up. If it was Sunday, Grandma had her two brothers visiting her…not just for an hour in the evening, but for all day.  Grandma Anderson died in 1972 when I was 12 years old. She was born in 1899, so the year was always her age…she died when she was 72. I remember that she was the first person I knew that had sugar diabetes. Since that time, my mom had it and my two brothers have it. My kidney doctor told me I have it but that I’m controlling it with my diet and exercise.

My Grandma was also musically inclined and could strum the guitar. She chewed her nails and was a wonderful cook. I loved to eat whatever she was cooking, especially her cookies and pies. She was also very nice to her grandchildren. I loved to stop at her home when she lived across the street from the hospital. Her home was on my way home from school.

I remember when my Grandma Van Dyke used to live with us. She liked to eat jelly on saltine crackers. I used to eat them with her, but I wouldn’t eat them today. She also had very soft hands. I remember holding her hand when she walked and I was amazed at how soft they were.

My mom was very special to me, but I suppose all moms are special to their children. Mom was also a wonderful cook. She was also a great person to visit with. There wasn’t anyone who didn’t like visiting with her. She had a naturally cheerful disposition and a positive outlook on life. She was also a great one for entertaining company, especially when it was family. I remember having her house full of music with guitars, a banjo and mandolin and her brother Harold blowing on a harmonica. She loved music, and she liked to go to dances and barbecues in Melstone when I was a younger.

There are others that have passed on that have also shaped my life…hopefully for the better. I had favorite professors in college and teachers in school. When I look at photographs from 20 or 30 years ago, there are lots of people that have since died. Like my brother Randy once told me, the people who made the town of Roundup so special to us when we were growing up are now resting in one of the town’s cemeteries.

And as the circle of life progresses, it will be my turn to be the person in the photograph that others are missing. So as we live our lives on earth, let’s be kind to each other, offer a word of praise or thanksgiving…and more importantly, let’s lead Christian lives so when we die from this Earth, we have a new home in heaven to spend eternity. That is my hope and my prayer. 

The Paper Sack

Keeping Christmas traditions alive is getting harder with each passing generation. For instance my wife and I both grew up in Montana – but that’s about where any commonality ends.

My family enjoyed live Christmas trees. Across the street from our home in Roundup where I lived in central Montana grew fir trees and aromatic cedar bushes. South of town were the Bull Mountains and northwest were the Snowy Mountains, covered with nature’s Christmas trees. My oldest brother, who lives near Billings, continues this tradition today as he and his family head to the Snowy Mountains every year around Thanksgiving to cut their tree – one among thousands. However, my wife grew up in Glendive on the eastern Montana prairies so an artificial tree was her family choice, and we have an artificial tree also.

She grew up in a Catholic family where I grew up in a Protestant family, so it was hard to carry-on the tradition of midnight mass.

But there is a tradition that we both believe in…it may seem odd, but it’s a brown paper sack full of fruit, nuts, homemade and store-bought candy and placed under the Christmas tree for all the family members celebrating Christmas in our house.

As far as I know, the tradition began with my grandfather. His name was William, although most people called him Bill. He was born at the time of the Civil War and raised in Tazwell, Virginia, and lived there until he was about 50. That is when he left his first family and moved to Montana with his second wife in the early 1900s. Along with my grandma, they homesteaded and began to raise his second family.

In all, they had 10 children. My dad, Willis, was their third. Born in 1920, my dad’s formative years were in the Depression. So when he received a sack full of goodies for Christmas, chances are that was his only gift under the tree. Dad was raised on a farm called Strawberry Acres along the Musselshell River west of Roundup.

After graduating from high school and working on nearby farms, my father served in World War II before returning to his hometown as a miner in the underground mines. By the 1950s, he began working in the oil fields as a roughneck and in the early ‘60s he joined Continental Oil Pipeline, which feeds Canadian and Montana crude oil to the Conoco refinery in Billings. I don’t know how much you know about oil fields, but they don’t close down for Christmas. Therefore, we never knew if we were opening presents at night or in the morning…it all depended on Dad’s schedule.

Working on a pipeline was a steady job, but working on oil rigs was not. As a roughneck, dad had a job as long as the rig was drilling, but if the rig was torn down and sitting on the edge of town, Christmas could be a lean time.

I had two brothers and two sisters in my family. I was the youngest, so it’s hard to say that I ever went without anything. My parents or an older brother or sister always made sure that there were presents under the tree for me…but I could depend on my Dad for making sure that there was also a paper sack with an orange, an apple, peanuts and mixed nuts, homemade almond bark, gum drops and candy canes.

Dad simply said that the sack was a holiday tradition. His father made sure that each of his 10 kids had one, and my Dad said it was important that his kids had one also.

Growing up, I probably enjoyed my Viewmaster or Etch-A-Sketch more than I did my sack of goodies – which was a little too sensible to be fun. But it was there, it was something that you could depend on – whether dad was working or not.

As Belinda and I began our family 26 years ago in Mandan, we also wanted to bring traditions with us that we had in our parent’s homes. This was hard. One reason was because we liked to spend Christmas with our parents, even after we were married. So we often opened our gifts on December 23rd and then left for Glendive to spend Christmas Eve with her parents before driving on to Roundup for Christmas Day with my parents. The last Christmas we traveled to Glenidve and Roundup was in December 2005. My mom died in June 2006 – and part of our tradition died as well.

This year, like the five Christmases past, there will be five of us celebrating and opening presents at our home. Belinda and I have two sons. They will be home for Christmas, and we will also be celebrating with my Dad, who is now a spry 91 years old.

He has lived with us since July 2006. With mom’s passing, it was easier to have him move with us to North Dakota than to teach him to cook, clean and wash clothes. The idea of putting him into a care center didn’t appeal to me because Dad has always been one who put family first. Just as his mother lived with us when I was growing up, I wanted my children to have that experience of living with a grandparent. Some teenagers may think they are immortal, but believe me, a teenager who lives with a grandparent does not.

With a grandparent and children in the same household, that makes me part of the “sandwich” generation, an expression I’m not very fond of.

To Belinda and I, our children and my dad complete our household. And this year for Christmas, besides all the presents that dad will receive from his five children, his 13 grandchildren and five great-grandsons …there will also be a present that he’s accustom to seeing – a brown sack with his name printed in crayon. The sack full of goodies under the tree this year will be one of five. There will also be one with my name on it, one with my wife Belinda’s name, one with my oldest son Derek’s name, and one with my youngest son Scott’s name.

The tradition will continue…not because it’s the only gift we can afford, but because that sack will remind all of us of how thankful we can be for the year we enjoyed and for the prosperity we as family have experienced.

This one Christmas tradition is how the Steve and Belinda Van Dyke family will continue to tie our holidays of the past with our future.

Home sweet home!

Our utility bill came in the mail the other day, and, frankly, I was surprised. In Mandan, Montana-Dakota Utilities Co. is a combination utility. That means it provides both natural gas and electricity.

There have been a number of changes over the past 26 years we have lived in our home. When we were first married, we didn't use to heat our basement in the winter. However, when the boys got bigger, we needed to make sure the heat was on upstairs and downstairs.

We also didn't have a TV set in every room of the house or as many computers and other electronic games and gadgets. When we bought a new energy-efficient refrigerator a few years ago, we didn't throw out the old, less efficient one. Instead, we moved into the laundry room downstairs where it runs 24 hours a day to keep a few jars of jelly and pickles cold, just in case we'll ever eat them. Scott also has a little refrigerator downstairs that keeps his water and Gatorade chilled.

Now, to be truthful, you must judge your energy use not only by the number gadgets but by how much energy is actually used. For instance, the energy hogs in our house are not the electric blender or toaster. It's things like heating your home and water that really adds up. Also washing and drying your clothes take a lot of energy, and our laundry room seems likes it's always busy.

We heat our home with natural gas and we have a 50-gallon natural gas-fired water heater...a little larger than most. About five years ago, we also had central air installed. Now, living in North Dakota, you know that a good furnace is a necessity, but not so with air conditioning, except for about three months in the summer.

If you don't mind tossing and turning in a bed of your own sweat, then no need to invest in central air conditioning, but if you like sleeping in pleasant temperatures, than it's a must. As we got older, the need for night-time comfort became greater.

So, there's no denying that we've got plenty of appliances that use a lot of energy. That's why I was surprised to see that our MDU bill had actually gone down, significantly!

We're on Balanced Billing, which means that our monthly utility bill is roughly the same every month. A few years ago, our monthly bill was somewhere north of $200. Now it's down to $140. I could chalk this up to Derek moving out, but Scott still lives in our basement and he showers long enough for two or three people. Also, he keeps our basement as toasty as he wants it. Luckily for us, hot air rises so his heating the basement makes our floors warm in the winter.

So what gives? Did the price of electricity and natural gas suddenly drop? No, not really. It's true that energy in North Dakota is quite affordable. The majority of our electricity comes from coal, so we have cheap power. And natural gas prices have remained reasonable, especially since there's so much oil drilling going on in western North Dakota and natural gas is found in conjunction with oil.

However, the real culprit for our lower energy bill has been the improvements we have made to tighten up our home. The first move was to replace an old drafty window in dad's office. Belinda's father and her uncle replaced it with a fiberglass framed, triple-pane, energy efficient window. It was such a nice improvement that it wasn't long before we wanted to change all of our old windows for new ones. Luckily, our church was undergoing the same type of renovations and a couple of retirees went to all the window retailers in Bismarck and discovered that the best value came from Pella. So we went with Pella Windows ourselves, and didn't have to do all the legwork.

Then we replaced our two outside doors and had a craftsman hang the new energy-efficient doors. Suddenly, we didn't have the drafty windows and old metal doors. Our home not only looked better but it also became a lot more comfortable during North Dakota blizzards. Then last year after Christmas, we had some more insulation added to our ceiling. Unfortunately, my brother and his family were visiting at the time, so having people blowing insulation into your attic is a bit odd, but it all worked out in the end.

Yes, the improvements cost some money, but we were able to save several hundred dollars on our taxes by claiming the improvements as deductions.

Add it all up, and our home is more energy efficient, comfortable and cheaper to maintain...plus we have more appliances to make life a little easier. It's all good. And it's like giving ourselves a $60 a month raise.

Tips for the job interview

Recently, we've been conducting a number of interviews as we look toward hiring a college intern to help with graphic design. The process of interviewing candidates brings back lots of memories...of interviewing past candidates and also at times when I've been the one looking for a job.

Let's start with the easiest interview. About six years ago we were hiring a college intern and I had one person apply. So I had to do one interview and when it came time to pick the best candidate, it was easy. Luckily for me, he turned out to be a great hand.

How about interview jitters. Let's face it, we all get them. But there really is no reason to be scared. The employer needs you as much or more than you need the job. Also, very few people make it a career to be the one conducting interviews, so often the person conducting the interview is just as nervous as the person answering the questions.

The questions aren't hard. The hard part is keeping your answers short. How many of us remember the first question asked, "So, tell me about yourself?"

Remember that this is an open-ended question...intentionally. There are a lot of things that the interviewer can't ask you so there's no reason to voluntarily bring the up. Can you imagine the surprise if the job candidate actually said something like, "I'm a career child molester who has just spent five of the last 10 years behind bars. I didn't get out for good behavior, but was released because of prison overcrowding."

That's not the answer anyone would expect. Basically, you can answer the question by simply saying, "I'm a person who believes in hard work, family values and an appropriate salary for a good day's work." You might want to shape this answer in a way that more clearly identifies you, but that's the answer the employer is looking for.

You don't need to tell them your age, your religion, your wife's name, how many kids you have or anything else that you would just as soon keep to yourself.

There's a couple of other questions that get some strange answers. One of them is "What would co-workers say about you?"

No need in airing the family laundry here. Something short and to the point will do just fine. "They would say that I'm punctual, professional and like to get my work done right the first time."

However, there are others that will let you know that they suffer from procrastination, partying and trying to cram too much fun and frivolities into an eight-hour day of work.

Another question along the same vain is, "What would you say a weakness of yours is?"

A couple of sentences is all anyone is looking for as in: "I'm shy and find public speaking difficult." That's a good answer unless you are looking for a job in public relations or broadcasting.

Finally, at the end of the interview, you are asked if there is anything you would like to ask.

At a minimum, find out when they hope to pick the person for the job. You might also want to ask about salary, benefits, etc....but I've noticed a lot of applicants seem like they are too tired to think or talk at this point, so they just pass on this opportunity.

So, Steve's words of wisdom are simple. Keep your answer short and don't volunteer a lot of information that  can easily be misconstrued.