More Obamanomics - this time cap and trade

Yesterday the President defended his position to support a "cap and trade" mechanism to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. In addressing a CEO of a company who said the added costs would hurt his company financially, the president answered in "political speak" saying that the cap and trade system needs to raise money but not punish people. (Our president is a master of the doublespeak. Remember ArVee's band "The Underwater Fire System?" Obama would be all for that.)

Since I know a few things about cap and trade...let me give you my opinion.

First, listing CO2 as a pollutant reminds me of the old pork producers' commercials about calling pork "the other white meat." Remember, that we exhale CO2 and plants use it during photosynthesis to create green leaves and fruits and vegetables.

Second, a cap and trade system raises money by setting a cap on how much CO2 can be produced and then allocations are made as to how much a ton of CO2 is going to cost. As the cap is reduced, presumably the cost of allocations rise. However, the downturn in the economy can turn this scheme on its head. For instance, in Europe, which already has a cap and trade system, the economy is so bad that the allocations sell for a lot less than than they once did. So if the U.S. were to set up a cap and trade today, companies would want to buy "affordable" allocations from European countries who would be more than willing to trade paper for American dollars.

A quote from Dr. Robert Peltier, who is editor of Power magazine, brings this point to light: "How does the president convince voters that shipping boat loads of money to Europe is good for the U.S.? That's a stimulus package we should avoid."

Nevertheless, the U.S. House is already holding hearings on a cap and trade system and a spokesperson for the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office told the subcommittee that reducing nationwide carbon dioxide emissions by 15 percent could cost the average household roughly $1,600 annually. "Those price increases would impose a larger burden on low- and moderate-income households than on higher-income households, relative to either their income or total spending," the CBO spokesman said. And it should be noted that the President's plan is to reduce CO2 emissions by 80 percent, not 15 percent.

Well, one legislator (Jim McDermett, D-Washington) at the committee hearing said that isn't fair, but if utilities are going to insist on passing these hidden costs on to consumers -- like this is first time that has ever happened -- then it is up to government to collect the cap and trade money from everyone and give some of it back to the poor....while using some of it to pay for healthcare reform, education reform, the down trodden, the depressed, the illegal aliens, etc....and maybe even some for the study of rats in San Francisco.

Where have we heard that before? More wealth redistribution.

A better alternative to cap and trade is simply to impose a tiny tax on each ton of carbon. So instead of paying 6.9 cents per kilowatt-hour of electricity, you would pay 7 cents. Since America uses so much electricity, that little 10th of a cent would represent billions of dollars that could be used to retrofit the 600 coal-based electricity generating stations in the United States with equipment that can capture carbon, build the pipelines to transport it and store the CO2 in deep underground geological formations, such as unmineable coal seams that act as a sponge for the CO2. (A point to remember here is that underneath the two coal seams that are mined near Beulah, North Dakota, lie at least another 17 that are too deep to mine economically.)

When the plants are all retrofitted, the tax can be removed. And the electric utility industry will be making a huge contribution to reducing greenhouse gases -- which is really what Americans want, not wealth redistribution.

However, if cap and trade passes, it will never go away because it will become another government entitlement program to help redistribute wealth from those dead beat millionaires (who farm, own businesses, go to college to hold professional positions at companies and buy stock) to those hard working bums.

I don't believe there is any way for any of us to stop this runaway "cap and trade" train. Not with Obama in the White House along with Pelosi and Reid running the Congress. However, Americans, some of you voted for these folks. So open wide, the medicine tastes pretty bitter....at least to me. And kiss your outdoor barbecue away...it produces CO2.

Woody Allen and "Mad Money" Jim Cramer

Well, I won the club speech contest today...I was the only contestant. Last Friday there were three contestants, but by Monday two dropped out. Must have been a tough weekend.

However, it's good that I thought there would be two additional competitors. Otherwise, I wouldn't have practiced this weekend and my speech wouldn't have been as good. As it was, I practiced last night between 4 p.m. and 5 p.m. -- after my nap but before dinner.

Winning (by default) put me in mind of one of my favorite quotes. Director, actor and humorist Woody Allen once said, "Eighty percent of success is showing up."

I can't tell you how many times that has been true in my life. My evaluator thought I did a good job and thanked me for competing. Since I'm the club winner, my next contest is Saturday, March 21st, at 9:30 a.m. in the basement of the Bismarck library.

I doubt I'll be the only contestant there, so I'll have to keep practicing. The hard part now is honing your speech so it gets better, without practicing it so much that you get tired of it. And while Belinda and Scott will probably tire of listening to it, Grandpa will think it's fresh every time he hears it. He's a very appreciative audience.

However, let's return to talking about favorite quotes...although I certainly won't memorize this one...I did find it very telling. As you know, CNBC's Jim Cramer has been critical of late regarding the economic decisions of President Obama and his so-called team of experts. So, this is part of his rebuttal.

President Obama's team, unlike Bush's team, demonstrates a thinness of skin that shocks me. When I somewhat obviously and empirically judged that the populist Obama administration is exacerbating the crisis with its budget and policies, as evidenced by the incredible decline in the averages since his inauguration, I was met immediately with condescension and ridicule rather than constructive debate or even just benign dismissal. I said to myself, "What the heck? Are they really that blind to the Great Wealth Destruction they are causing with their decisions to demonize the bankers, raise taxes for the wealthy, advocate draconian cap-and-trade policies and upend the health care system? Do they really believe that only the rich own stocks? What do they think we have our retirement accounts in, CDs? Where did they think that the money saved for college went, our mattresses?

So, I'm following what I learned in journalism school. Quote people only when you can't say it better yourself.

Does anyone watch MSNBC? I can't stomach it, but I'm wondering if the commentators are willing to attack Cramer who works for their sister station, just as they do Rush Limbaugh and others who disagree with the President.

How's my customer service?

Note: The following is the text of my speech for next Monday's Toastmasters' Contest. I won't be reading the speech and I won't be using any notes, so this probably contains more detail than what will actually be delivered, but my speech will follow this outline.

If you ask me, customer service has been in a steady decline for years. Whether it’s waiting endlessly to see a doctor…being treated like a number at your bank…or standing in line at a store because the customers far out number the cashiers…good customer service is fast becoming only a memory.

Mr. Toastmaster and fellow Toastmasters…imagine my surprise when I recently went to one of our local diners for breakfast on Saturday morning with a group including three of my wife’s uncles. After ordering and waiting for 30 minutes…to my surprise…only eight of the 12 people at our table were served their breakfast. I was one of the four that had to re-order…and wait another 30 minutes while plates of sausages, pancakes and eggs were served to people sitting at tables next to me who came in later than us.

In my profession, I’m not a doctor, a bank teller, a cashier or a server…but still I have customers. They often are the people I work with in my office, but sometimes it’s the media or people who work at utilities and mines.

At home, I also have customers. They include my wife, my children and my father.

At my church, my customers include my Sunday School class and others.

Even at Toastmasters, I have customers. I’m not a club officer, but I’m a club member and I have the responsibility to be prepared for the duties given me at the meetings.

So what can I learn from the poor customer service that I receive from others?

First, I need to listen to my customers. How much better my breakfast experience would have been if the server would have actually listened to me. Luckily for us, my family is in the habit of eating together. We’re a three-generational family with my father living with us…so meal time is special. In a way, every meal is a family reunion.

We have two sons in college, so it’s not every day that I can eat with my children. However, when they are home, it is fun to hear about college and their friends. Their stories remind me of my youthful days at college but their stories are also important because college is preparing them for their lives away from our home and our children like to talk about their challenges and their successes.

So I can’t help but wonder how much better would be the service in a restaurant if the server considered every group of people as a special gathering – like I do around our dinner table. And if it’s special, you’ll listen.

Second, not only is my family important but so are my co-workers, my church family and my fellow Toastmasters. Take a woman at my church for example…her name is Althea. She is in her 80s and requires a walker to get around…but she still gets around. Althea is part of the Q-tip generation. You know, white hair and white shoes. She puts me in mind of my own mother who died a few years ago of congestive heart failure. My mom needed a walker because of her weak heart and a proclivity to falling. So when I see Althea, I instantly think of my mom. While other people may look at Althea and see an older woman who takes a long time to get from point A to point B, I see my mom and her determination not to die of heart failure but to live in spite of it. So when Althea comes to church and needs some help as she navigates the steps, I'm more than happy to help her.

How much better would it be if we treated everyone as if they were our mom? Would we make our mom wait an hour before we saw them? No, we would make them welcome right away and be happy that they came to our office.

Third, remember that when you are busy, others are busy also…so don’t make being busy an excuse for not delivering good customer service. Thirty years ago I worked as a printer in eastern Montana. A cowboy came through the door and asked me when I could get some sales bills printed for his upcoming bull sale. I told him tomorrow. He looked at me and said these unforgettable words, “If I wanted them tomorrow, I would have come in tomorrow.”

Now, in fairness, he probably lived an hour or so a way from town and didn’t want to drive back in a day to get his printing. But knowing that he wanted them in an hour -- instead of a day --may have put a little pressure on me and the typesetter, but we were able to meet his expectations and he walked away from our office that day with his package and a smile on his face.

So how’s my customer service? Honestly, it could probably use a little work but if I stick to listening to others, treating others like they are my mom and remembering that meeting customer's expectations counts…I hope I can deliver the kind of service to others that I would like to receive as well.

Hope you enjoyed spring

Today, March 3rd, spring arrived about noon and ended about 2:45 p.m. What do I mean by spring? I mean that we actually had snow melting and water running. There were no gushers, but after eating lunch I thought about going out for a walk. After putting my jacket on and stepping out on the porch, it looked like a better bet to do some Wii exercises in my livingroom rather than getting my shoes wet jumping from mud puddle to mud puddle.

The sun was shining and there was a slight breeze during that glorious time. Was it my imagination or was the air filled with dewy moisture, perhaps from the melting snow? Well, no matter, it's over. We're back to winter again with a drop in temperatures and an overcast sky.

I believe the snow has quit melting.

And yet, for a few brief minutes, there was a hint of something different in the air. Call it spring, call it optimism, call it a chance for a different season...it was there, if only briefly.

I'm sure bears that have been hibernating all winter encounter something like what I felt when they wake up from their five-month nap. They go to the end of their cave, stick their nose out and try to smell something different from what they have breathing indoors all winter long.

When I drive home tonight, my driveway will still be lined with banks of snow. The remnants of our bird population will still need me to put some more bird seed in the feeders. And the melted water will probably have turned to a sheet of ice.

But...at least today we got a hint of another season -- a better one than what we've endured since November. Perhaps it won't be much longer until we get another warm spell. Who knows....maybe it will last longer than three hours next time.

Wok is reminder of college

There aren't many things left from my college days in Missoula. The green LeMans was sold in 1981. The clothes -- including the Griz shirts -- wore out and were tossed. I have some college books downstairs that are covered with dust. The only "used and useful" item appears to be a Chinese wok I bought for stir-fry.

I probably bought it about the time I was going to graduate. One of the things I learned to make at college was beef and broccoli stir fry. Compared to everything else that I ate at college, the stir-fry seemed to be the best for me.

Remember, I ate bags of salted nut rolls while I wrote my senior paper over spring break. I didn't dare leave the house or my typewriter so I learned to survive on salted nut rolls.

Popcorn was also another favorite of mine. The late 1970s was when air-popped popcorn makers came out. They were wonderful, but alas, my air popper died in the 1990s. In fact, we just bought a new one last week as Scott and his mom were making popcorn balls and the popcorn was supposed to be air popped so it wasn't greasy.

Tonight, we're having stir fry. I still don't have a recipe so every time we have it, it's a little different. For instance, tonight we're having cubed steak instead of sirloin. I'm not sure why, but that's what Belinda has thawing and I'm sure it will work.

We also have broccoli, bean sprouts, green pepper and onions. I doubt we have water chestnuts or bamboo shoots. I like these but I can't remember to buy them, because they are in canned goods, and I try to buy everything fresh.

There have been some other changes over the years. Belinda doesn't like ginger, so there's no sense in putting any fresh ginger root in there, which I did when I was in college. Also, the soy sauce is now low sodium because my heart has slowed down some and I retain water if I eat too much salt. Actually, I would probably retain water even if I ate no salt, but I would retain more if I had the regular soy sauce.

Still, stir fry is a pretty healthy meal, just as it was 30 years ago. And the wok looks like it did when I bought it. It wasn't pretty then and it hasn't gotten any better looking.

So, now that it looks like the wok will probably outlast me, I may have to consider giving it to someone when I die. Anybody else know how to make stir-fry?

By the way, I've decided that with my blood pressure already sky high, there's no reason for me to write any more about Obama-nomics. I think you already know how I feel...but if there's anyone who doesn't, I'd be glad to fire off another round..but I'll have to take a couple of pills before I do. Otherwise I might explode and someone would get my wok sooner than I want them to.

Where does he find the energy

Yesterday was quite the day for Grandpa. He not only had time to mentor his grandson, but also saved the life of our neighbor, Mrs. Maggie Renner.

Let's start with the mentoring first. After church, Belinda made a wonderful spaghetti dinner -- complete with individual Ceasar salads and crunchy garlic toast.

For Grandpa, at least, the toast must have been a little too crunchy. Or at least one side of his toast seemed a little too dark. So, like the Depression-survivor that he his, he didn't throw away his toast. Instead, he salvaged it by taking his knife and scraping away some of the crust that he determined was too dark for human consumption.

Now, I know it's probably been years since many of my faithful readers have seen anyone scrape toast, but let me remind you that it's a messy job. You can imagine dark crumbs flying just about anywhere.

I could see my bride sitting across the table doing a slow burn as her father-in-law made a backhanded compliment about her cooking. While 99.9 percent of the meal was great, he made a not-so subtle point about the toast.

A couple of minutes later, much to my chagrin, I saw Grandpa's principle student -- one Scott Willis -- do the same thing. He took his knife and scraped his toast, making probably more of a mess than his Grandfather -- as Scott is a rookie when it comes to toast scraping. In fact, I venture to say that Scott had neither seen anyone scrape their toast nor had he ever done it before. But seeing his mentor scrape his toast was all the impetus Scott needed to scrape his own.

And so a tradition has now been set. In 80 years when Grandpa, Belinda and Steve are all dead and pushing up daisies, Scott will be carrying on the tradition by scraping his toast in front of a grandson who will then think, "Wow, what a novel idea...why don't women think of these things."

However, Grandpa's day was really just beginning. A couple hours later and Grandpa was taking his walk in the 11-degree temperature afternoon down the middle of second street to the highway. On his way home, he encountered Mrs. Renner, who is a couple of years his senior. It seems she heard the water running in her toilet and thought that it was going to run over. So she left her house to get some help.

However, like other people about her age, her eyesight is dim at best and her memory isn't quite up to snuff. So she left the house and thought she had locked herself out. Now what to do?

Never fear, here comes Grandpa sauntering back up the street to save this freezing damsel in distress and escort her to our home.

Belinda -- the lady in the kitchen who burnt the toast -- was ready to spring into action. Did the neighbor need an ambulance? No. Water? No! She just needed to get a hold of someone who can get her back into her house and maybe shut off the water, if it's still running.

Well, the daughter who lives with her works at one of the darn box stores where you can call all day but you can't get a hold of a live person, only voice mail. So through Belinda's persistence, Maggie coughed up the name of another daughter who was called and responded to the emergency.

About an hour later, the second daughter called. Her mom was back in her home and she wanted to thank us for the hospitality and also to maybe get a better idea of just what transpired.

My answer was..."You probably need to ask the angels because I don't think either of the two primary parties are going to remember what happened."

This answer, however, was eclipsed by the one that 88-year-old hero (and part-time mentor) Willis Burns Van Dyke uttered. "Women have a harder time than men when it comes to getting old."

Chivalry isn't dead. Here's a toast to old men!

FUN - For your nourishment

Maybe FUN isn't exactly an acronym, but it's close enough me for me. For Your Nourishment -- or shortened to FUN.

We need to be make sure that the things we do are also FUN. After all, life's too short and it seems it's getting shorter. Whoops, there went a breath I won't be able to take again.

I have a good role model upon which I base this philosophy...my 88-year-old father. Last June or so he told us that he no longer would be going to church with us on Sundays. And, for the most part, he's proven himself correct. Whether it's "Sunday-itis" or some other ailment, he has managed to skip going to church most Sundays. He doesn't mind coming on Wednesday for dinner or Saturday to listen to the Four Gospels practice, but once that big Sunday paper is delivered to our breakfast table, he knows that there is some reason he won't be going to listen to the pastor preach and the choir sing.

I'm okay with that...if that's his decision. But like him, I've decided that there are a few things that I'm going to be doing -- or not doing -- as well, to make life a little more charming and a little less frustrating. For instance, I'm going to do things that I not only enjoy but are also good for me.

There's a two part "litmus" test now for things I do. So, I won't be jogging even though jogging might be good for me. Instead, I'll be doing the aerobics games on the Wii Fit. I enjoy them and they are good for me.

I'm also giving speeches in Toastmasters, but I'm giving them about things that I'm interested in...and I'm trying to give them without notes. So I have to practice a little longer but I'm also trying to stretch my brain cells a little bit more. Anyone can read a speech, but can you give a speech based on a three or five point outline. My kids will tell you that I've perfected the three points of a five point outline because it accurately corresponds with the number of fingers and thumb I have on one hand. So my intro is my thumb, which stands for something. In this case, my intro is my dad and his decision to quit going to church.

Then I have three points -- which correspond to my three fingers. And my pinkie finger is my conclusion. It's where I can either summarize my points or give my call to action.

So tomorrow in Toastmasters, I'm speaking on FUN - For Your Nourishment. My points are:

• Do something good for your heart, your head and your hands.
• For my heart, I joined the Four Gospels; For my head, I joined Toastmasters; and for my hands, I'm working out on the Wii Fitness instead of "not enjoying" my exercise bicycle and treadmill which are now pushed against the far basement wall.

My conclusion is "life's too short." We need to enjoy life and do things we like and are good for us.

So whether it's raising a garden in the sunshine, reading a good book on a snowy day or singing along to a repeat of the Lawrence Welk Show, whatever you find to do that is FUN is fine with me.

Let's have more FUN.