Day 14. . . and holding!

Imagine, if you will, a picture of Steve being drug by a semi-truck called "Work" while he digs his heels ever deeper into the soft asphalt that we can call "2009." You can also imagine the consternation and bewilderment on his face come Monday, January 5, when he has to be awakened once again by an alarm clock, shave and shower and head off to work. He probably doesn't even remember where his office is or what work entails -- like no afternoon nap!

How quickly these 16 days are passing even though I've done my darndest to make them drag on forever. Even Mother Nature has cooperated by dropping enough snow to shatter every meteorlogical record in Bismarck since weathers records have been kept. Nothing gets more tedious than firing up the snow blower to once again blow my driveway clean.

About 10 years ago, my old barber retired and I asked him where he planned to live in retirement. He said his plans were to load his snowblower into the back of his pickup and head south. When he came to a town where someone asked, "Hey, what's that in the back of your pickup?" he would know that he found his retirement nest. I'm starting to think of the barber and his advice more and more these days.

And yet as I look back at the 14 days that I've squandered on rich food and little or no exercise, either for my brain or body, I can't help but think of the things that I had hoped to accomplish but haven't yet.

For instance, I wanted to buy a camcorder -- but I haven't made it to Best Buy yet. I wanted to buy an electric tooth brush, but haven't made it out of Mandan yet. The list goes on and on.

The worst part about not doing anything is that you have little to write about and even less to say when family calls.

"What have you been doing?" they ask. It's hard to say "nothing" so I've been making things up.

Here's a for instance: "Well, I've been inventorying the knick-knacks in our house. Do you know Belinda has more than 40 clowns scattered here and there?"

"I've been comparing the shades of white paint we have in our bedroom to what we have in our livingroom. I could have sworn it was all the same, but somehow the color looks different now."

"I'm trying to crunch some numbers to see if it's possible for me to retire at 49 and a half, because honestly, I could get use to doing nothing."

Okay, that last one is true....Happy New Year to all. And pray that the alarm clock works on Monday morning.